Carry Me Home Page 11

  I shut the door and walk back down that little path next to the wall. I’m nervous as a whore in church. When I get to Slim, he sticks out his hand and says, “Welcome aboard, Earl.” Eva gets all hippity-hop happy and she gives me a little hug, so I guess that means I’m hired. Slim tells Eva Leigh to give me Ralph’s old shirt and says he’ll order a patch with my name on it, then his old lady will stitch it on for me when it comes.

  “Can I have my real name on it, Mr. Slim?” I ask. And he says I can have any name on that shirt I want, so I tell him how to spell Earwig.

  That night, I lay in bed scratching Lucky and wishing that Jimmy could get mail, and that I could write. Then I’d go down to the post office and write to him on one of them special papers that makes a envelope when you fold it, them V-mailers. I’d write that I hope he is fine and not dead under one of them goofy trees, and I’d sign it, Your brother, Earwig. Pinsetter. First Lane, Second Lane. Ten Pin Bowling Alley.

  Chapter 14

  By the time I get my first payday, my shirt patch comes and I don’t have to be Ralph no more. I rub my hand over them stitched letters and I walk right past Ruby Leigh at the bar, six times, ’til she notices that I got my name patch and says, “Hey there, Earwig. Pretty fancy! Pretty fancy!”

  Ruby Leigh, she is about the prettiest thing I ever see’d. Well, not pretty, I guess you’d say, but she sure is something. A guy can’t look at Ruby and not stare at them titties that is poking out so far that they almost bump you when you ain’t even standing that close. And she’s got them hips that rock like boats when she walks, and, boy, is that something. She’s got about the prettiest legs I ever see’d too. Even prettier than that Rita Hayworth’s legs in that picture hanging up on the inside of the door in the men’s shitter.

  Ruby Leigh serves drinks to the bowlers. She laughs real loud and springy, and she smokes cigarettes and licks her red lips when she talks. Ruby Leigh ain’t never gonna get married, I don’t think, ’cause she gives her milk away for free. I ain’t an employee at the Ten Pin longer than three nights when I put two and two together and figure out what men not buying milk when they can get it free means. I figure it out when I walk into the men’s bathroom one night after Slim closes up the lanes.

  I open up that shitter door and there they are, Ruby Leigh and Skeeter Banks, who ain’t more than seventeen. Ruby Leigh, her blouse is unbuttoned clear down to her waist and her brassiere is all twisted up around her armpits. Ruby Leigh’s got Skeeter’s head pressed up against them titties and he’s sucking at them titties like he’s starving to death or something. Ruby Leigh, she’s got one leg slung around Skeeter’s skinny hips, and I shit you not, he’s got his hand creeped right up her dress, right between her legs.

  I know I ain’t suppose to gawk at guys that is sneaking a feel, but I can’t get myself to turn around and walk out. Not when I gotta piss so bad I can taste it. And not when I’m looking at the two of ’em banging up against the wall, moaning and groaning like they is in pain or something.

  I don’t hear myself make any noise, but maybe I do, ’cause suddenly they stop and Skeeter turns his head. Ruby Leigh, she opens her eyes. I can see her whole tittie now, that nipple part Easter egg pink and all shiny from Skeeter’s spit. They is both gulping for air like they is drowning.

  “Get outta here, Earwig!” Skeeter snaps, so I turn and go, even if I still gotta piss. Later, they both come out of the bathroom. Skeeter, he’s tucking his uniform shirt in and he’s grinning like he just bowled a 300 game. Ruby Leigh don’t look at me when she comes out. She don’t look at Skeeter either. She goes straight to the bar and starts wiping it clean. “Skeeter?” I say real quiet-like as we start tipping chairs upside down on the tables. “Did you get Ruby’s milk for free?”

  “Huh?” he asks.

  “Did you have to pay Ruby Leigh for sucking on her titties?”

  Skeeter laughs. “Hell no, Earwig. Ruby don’t charge nobody. She’s a whore, not a hooker, you dummy.”

  After work, Thursday through Sunday, I walk Eva Leigh and Ruby Leigh home—that is, if Ruby Leigh ain’t walking home with some guy. Ruby Leigh and Eva Leigh and LJ all live together now, right in town. Used to be, back before the war and before Luke got drafted, all of ’em lived out on the farm with Mrs. Leigh, who would be Elsie. But with no tires for their car and gas being all rationed, them ladies, they moved above Sam’s Barber Shop so they can walk back and forth to work.

  One night in February, when it’s a-snowing and blowing so hard and so goddamn cold that the boogers freeze in your nose, Eva Leigh says I should come up to her apartment and warm myself before I finish walking home.

  LJ ain’t there ’cause he sleeps at the sitter’s and who would want to tote a sleepy kid who gets cranky if he gets waked up from one apartment to another if they don’t have to. Ruby Leigh puts a Frank Sinatra record on her phonograph, and she starts singing along to “Stardust.” Ruby Leigh’s got the kind of voice that makes you get all tingly warm where you ain’t suppose to get tingly warm if you’re minding your Ps and Qs. I mind my Ps and Qs, though, when I hear them words she’s singing, about how sometimes she wonders why she spends her lonely nights dreaming of a song. Them words sound like tears when they come outta her mouth.

  When Eva Leigh goes into the kitchen to make hot cocoa, Ruby Leigh, she grabs my hand and says, “Dance with me, Earwig.”

  I can’t jitterbug, but that slow kind of dancing, it don’t seem there’s much to it, so I tell her yes, ma’am, I sure will dance with you. Ruby Leigh, she helps me out. She takes my arm and she wraps it around her waist and, I shit you not, it’s like I’m touching an electric fence when my arm goes around her back. Then she puts her hand in mine and she starts moving, all dreamy-like.

  Ruby Leigh sings as we dance, tossing her head back now so I can see her neck real good, and it’s white and long like a goose neck. Then, like she’s tired or something, she drops her head right down on my chest and I can feel her titties squished right up against me and I feel something else. Ruby must feel it too, ’cause she pulls away a bit and looks up at me and laughs that laugh that sounds like teasing, but not mean teasing.

  Eva Leigh brings in our cups and pulls Ruby Leigh away. “Your cocoa’s getting cold,” she says. She gives Ruby Leigh the same look she gives LJ when he’s touching things in the store that he ain’t got no business touching.

  Ruby Leigh sits down, lights a cigarette, and grabs an ashtray. She takes her cup and scoots sideways in the chair, her head on one armrest, her legs draped over the other. When her dress creeps halfway up her legs, she don’t bother to tug it down. Eva Leigh turns the phonograph down, then comes over to the sofa where I’m sitting and sits down.

  “So you like working at the Ten Pin, huh, Earl?”

  “I sure do. I appreciate you getting me this job. That was right nice of you.”

  I drink my hot chocolate and wipe my mouth on my sleeve, so I know I ain’t wearing no chocolatey mustache. Ruby has got her head tipped back and she’s looking at the picture of Eva Leigh and Luke that’s hanging on the wall. A cloud of smoke circles above her. I look at the same picture Ruby Leigh is looking at. Luke, who is big and handsome, he’s got one arm around Eva Leigh and one hand holding a beer. Eva Leigh is standing under Luke’s arm, and she has got her shoulders scrinched up like she’s afraid something’s gonna fall on her head.

  “Tell me something, Eva,” Ruby Leigh says. “What in the hell did you marry that no-good son of a bitch for, anyway?”

  “Ruby! That’s your brother you’re talking about.”

  “He’s still a son of a bitch,” Ruby Leigh says. “Just like our old man was. All my brothers are like him. Not one of them is worth a damn.”

  “Luke can be very sweet,” Eva Leigh says, but it don’t sound like she means it, not really.

  “Yeah, when he ain’t using you for a punching bag.” Ruby Leigh takes another puff from her cigarette and it curly-swirls out from her lips. “I guess that’s the way it wa
s bound to go, though. Luke learned how to put his arms up around his head to protect himself before he was old enough to even lift a fucking spoon to his mouth.”

  “Your daddy sure was mean, from what Luke told me,” Eva Leigh says.

  “That ain’t all he was,” Ruby Leigh says. She sits up and sets her cup down on the rickety end table. She stands up then, and I shit you not, she lifts her sweater over her head and I can see her slip. Eva Leigh says, “Ruby!” and Ruby just laughs as she unzips her skirt and steps out of it. When she bends over, I can see almost all of her titties, and ain’t that something. Eva Leigh runs to get Ruby Leigh a robe and throws it at her. “You have no shame, Ruby,” she says, and Ruby Leigh says, “Quite the contrary, sweet Eva. I got all the shame in the world.”

  Eva Leigh starts talking to me about what a good job I’m doing setting pins and how Slim is pleased as punch with my work. She don’t say nothing about the times I get whacked in the legs ’cause I don’t get outta the way fast enough, and I don’t say nothing about them purple and yellow blotches I got running up my shins.

  I tell Eva Leigh how much I like it at the Ten Pin. How I like the jukebox music and the sound of them balls rumbling and pins cracking. I tell her how much I like them new shirts that Sam’s Barber Shop’s team is wearing now, all shiny gold with green sleeves.

  I can’t think of any more things I like at the Ten Pin—well, ’cept for looking at Ruby Leigh’s titties, but I can’t say that, so I just shut up.

  “Hey, we should start a women’s league,” Ruby Leigh says all of a sudden. “It would keep the place busier until this goddamn war is over and the boys come home. Hell, if women can work, they can play too. Shit, Eva, you and me could be captains of our own teams.”

  “I can’t bowl, Ruby!” Eva Leigh says, and she’s laughing.

  “Sure you can,” Ruby says, and I say, “No, ma’am, she sure can’t bowl.” Ruby Leigh says she ain’t going to let it drop.

  Eva Leigh asks me if we heard any news about Jimmy. I tell her no. “Ma writes the army all the time, asking about him. They ain’t wrote her back, though, only that one time when they telled her they lost Jimmy. He ain’t dead, though,” I say, “’cause his star is still blue.”

  Ruby Leigh asks me if Molly is being true to Jimmy, and I tell her that I think she is. Then Ruby asks about Floyd and John, and I tell her their stars are still blue too. “That John,” Ruby Leigh says. “He thinks he’s God’s gift to women. What an arrogant bastard.” Then she laughs and says, “But all men are bastards, so where’s the surprise?”

  Ruby Leigh picks up her empty cup to take it to the corner that would be the kitchen. She stops by the end of the sofa and she takes her hand and bunches up my mouth, and she says, “Well, except you, Earwig. If all men were sweet as you, even Eva Leigh here would be cheating.” Then she leans down, I shit you not, and she pops me a kiss right on my bunched-up lips.

  Eva Leigh says I’d better run along home now before my ma starts worrying, so that’s what I do.

  Ma is still awake, sitting on the sofa with an open book on her lap, ’cause when she can’t sleep, she opens a book but she don’t read. “You’re late,” she says, and I say that I sure am.

  Ma’s eyes are red and the skin ringed around them is pink, like it was rubbed hard. “Ma? Is something wrong?”

  “I’m just feeling a little blue, that’s all,” she says.

  Ma, she looks up at me and smiles, but her smile don’t look too happy. Then she cocks her head sideways and stops smiling. “Earl, what’s that on the top of your lip? Is that lipstick?” And I say, “Yes, ma’am, it sure is,” and I feel real proud saying that.

  “Who on earth would do such a thing?” She says this like she’s talking about somebody spitting on me or something. I don’t tell her, though, ’cause Jimmy telled me once that even if a girl is the biggest two-bit whore in town, a decent guy don’t kiss and tell.

  Next day, I’m in the backyard splitting up some firewood when Eddie comes along. He’s dragging his rickety sled. “Hey, Earwig,” he says.

  “Hey, Eddie,” I say.

  “You want to go sledding over on Lark’s hill?”

  “I ain’t got time for playing, Eddie. I am a working man now. I got one job at the store, and one job at the Ten Pin, and I gotta help Ma out. I ain’t got time for playing.”

  Eddie, he just stands there for a bit, watching me. He swipes his mitten across his nose, then he says, “You ain’t never got time for playing no more.”

  I stand up real tall and I tell him that’s exactly right. “Yep, things is different now. I got two jobs, I got sorrows, and I got a sweetheart too. I ain’t a little kid like you, Eddie.” Eddie picks up the rope that’s tied to his old sled, ’cause he didn’t get no new sled for Christmas on accounta all the wood and metal are going to the war now, and he says, “You’re being a jerk, Earwig.”

  Eddie turns his sled, the blades making scuffing sounds in the packed snow. He’s halfway down the block before I run to the sidewalk and yell out, “I ain’t trying to be a jerk, Eddie. I’m just trying to be a man!”

  I ain’t really got a sweetheart, like I told Eddie. Ruby Leigh, she’s got a sweetheart, all right, but it ain’t me. His name is Elliot Birmingham, and ain’t that a fine name for a gentleman, which is what Ruby Leigh says he is. He wears fancy suits and a long coat that looks Montgomery Ward-new, and he always tips his Stetson when he greets a lady. Ruby Leigh thinks he looks like Cary Grant.

  Mr. Birmingham, he ain’t in the war ’cause the army wouldn’t take him on accounta he’s got one of them ruptures, but the government lets him work for ’em, rupture or not. He travels all over, making sure the factories are making enough stuff for the war. He come to Willowridge ’cause he says that the Knox Lumber Factory’s gotta stop making lumber for houses and gotta start making stuff for the war. It’s his job to convert the mill over. That’s what he tells Ruby Leigh.

  Mr. Birmingham stays in town for pert’ near two weeks the first time, and every night he comes to the Ten Pin for drinks and a little of Ruby Leigh’s free milk.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Ruby Leigh says one night in spring when we’re walking home, leaping over the sidewalk puddles. “I can’t sleep, I can’t think of anything but him. Crissakes, I never thought I’d go ga-ga over some guy like this. I must be nuts.”

  “You must be in love,” Eva Leigh says.

  After Mr. Birmingham comes along, Ruby Leigh stops leaving the Ten Pin with other guys at night, and she starts wearing dresses that don’t show as much of her titties. It’s a sorry day for Skeeter and me for sure when that happens.

  I’m happy for Ruby Leigh, but most guys coming in to the Ten Pin ain’t. When Ruby Leigh don’t rub up against ’em no more, and when she won’t leave with ’em at closing time, some of the guys start getting all pissy-mouthed. One night Bottoms Conner, who’s got a fat beer belly and is sweaty even in winter, he gets downright nasty with Ruby Leigh. “What the fuck you acting all uppity for, Ruby?” Ruby Leigh tries to ignore him. She is washing beer glasses real fast and pretending she don’t hear nothing he’s saying. Eva Leigh and me are tipping chairs upside down on the tables, ’cause it’s closing time. Eva Leigh stops, and she gets real still when she hears that meanness coming out of Bottoms’s mouth.

  “You think you’re too good for me now, just because you got that city boy sniffing around you? That it? Shit, you aren’t nothing but a two-bit whore, and don’t think City Boy ain’t figured that one out. You listening to me, bitch?”

  “Go home, Bottoms. We’re closing,” Ruby Leigh says without looking up.

  Then that fat bastard, he gets up from his stool, real fast for a fat man, and he stomps right around to the back of the bar. He jerks Ruby Leigh by the arm, hard, and spins her around. “You listen to me when I’m talking to you, whore.”

  I drop the chair I’m holding. I go right behind the bar where I ain’t suppose to go, and I pop Bottoms Conner so hard
that his back slams against the back bar. A few of them drippy-wet glasses, they crash to the floor, slices of glass shooting like little missiles. I pin that sucker right to the bar. “Listen here, mister, I think you better start minding your Ps and Qs.”

  “Get off me, you fucking idiot,” Bottoms says, and he shoves at my chest, then uses his fat hand to catch the blood that’s coming outta his nose. I let him go then, not ’cause he tells me to, but ’cause I can tell he’s done being nasty to Ruby Leigh and ’cause there ain’t no way I’m gonna stare at that blood. I give him a little shove. “You go on home now. Your wife’s gonna be wondering where you are.”

  Eva Leigh runs to Ruby the minute Bottoms is gone. “Are you all right?” Eva Leigh is all skittery, but Ruby Leigh, she is just plain pissed. “Fat, ugly prick!” she says. “Who to hell does he think he is? Limp-dick bastard!” She spews them cuss words ’til every one of ’em is outta her, then she starts to crying.

  I go fetch the broom to clean up the broken glass, and Eva Leigh steers Ruby to a stool. I’m real glad that Slim went home early or I’d be shit-canned for going behind the bar and punching a paying customer.

  When I come back with the broom and dustpan, Ruby Leigh gets off her stool and comes to me. “Thank you, Earwig,” she says, and her eyes get all glittery with tears. “In my whole goddamn life, no guy has ever stood up for me. Not once. Thank you.” It’s enough to break a pinsetter’s heart, the way she says that. She gets on her tiptoes and she presses her lips right against my cheek.

  When I get home, I go up a couple steps out front of the store and lean over the pipe rail, and, yep, Jimmy’s star is still blue. I think of Jimmy, and Floyd, and Louie and John, and wish they was here so I could tell ’em I kicked somebody’s ass tonight. I know damn well if they were here, I’d get the first beer.